Emotional and Financial Costs

When you think about adoption you envision families being completed, birthmothers making selfless decisions for the baby they love, you think of smiles and happiness, and baby cuddles.

Unfortunately, until you are in the mist of the process, you don’t think of money.  The cost of adopting is like adoption’s dirty little secret.

We have had some disheartening conversations with our adoption agency recently.  Long story short, we were informed there are no local babies.  That Oregon has some sort of “stigma” about adoption.  That the only agencies that are going to survive are the ones like in Utah, which bring the mothers to them, giving them housing and medical care.   

These agencies are nearly double the cost of using a local agency because as the adoptive parents you are picking up the tab for that housing and medical care.

Essentially we are being told, if we want a baby, that is route we are going to have to take.  No mind given to the thousands of dollars we have already spent (which of course is nonrefundable.)  Now we are talking about spending nearly double what we had anticipated spending.

I know it is child’s life we are talking about and how can you put a price tag on the process? Unfortunately you can, and depending on what scenario you want the price goes exponentially up. And unfortunately what comes with that is guilt ~ guilt about taking that money away from your current family and guilt about potentially going into debt. 

Many of you have asked for updates. I wish I had more to give.  We have submitted paperwork and are going to be working with one of those Utah agencies as well.  I am praying for strength, fortitude, and guidance with our decisions.  It has been incredibly hard so far.

Thanks for the love and support ~ as always.