Another Disappointment

 

Our adoption journey suffered another disappointment today.  We were told for the second time this week that we were not chosen by a birthmother.  To think it gets easier to hear those words “sorry she has chosen a different family” is a complete falsehood. It gets much harder. The second you are shown a profile you are already picturing that baby in your life.  I know everyone has said “don’t take it personal” or “it wasn’t the right one,” but realistically that doesn’t help the hurt in my heart. Think of the worse rejection you have ever suffered in your life and multiply that times one hundred. That is what it feels like. You start to question “why not us?”  I know our family is awesome, why don’t they see it?  The truth of the matter is this; there are far more amazing, loving, ready-to-parent couples out there, then there are babies to adopt. Once statistic I read said that for every one single healthy child there are over forty couples waiting.  It is a hard statistic to reason with when you are one of those forty. You feel like you don’t have any control over the situation. I am in no means downplaying the heart wrenching decision made by birthmoms, but at least they have full control over who they choose to parent. I feel like if we say no to any scenarios we are given we might never get a baby.  It is difficult to describe the wave of emotions that come with that reality.  I know we need to be patient and wait but it is challenging to do so.  When it is something you want so badly, and you feel like you have been waiting your whole life already.  I am going to try and focus on the positives this week and not read too much into their decisions. Hopefully some more situations will present themselves. Thanks for the love and support; we definitely need some extra this week!